Jay's Best of 2020
2020 felt like the culmination of a lot of slow building tension finally snapping, slinging us wildly in all directions, unable to be put back together in quite the same way again. I spent the previous year trying to recover from a messy relationship without much success and ended it with my Dad getting sick. So I shaved my head, wrote some songs about it and turned 30 with that manic 2007 Britney Spears energy, really embracing the uncertainty of life. Then the pandemic started to take hold of the world and it got darker still. I thought I had properly embraced the uncertainty but I was mistaken.
Paul and I lived together in Toronto through the lockdowns, riots, fires, floods and other apocalyptic harbingers. Like everyone else, we had a big year planned but it got taken out from under us and we were stuck at home going through various stages of grief over the loss of our old life. I know he already reviewed Phoebe Bridgers’ Punisher, but that album really defined that first few months of the pandemic for me. The sense of emptiness, longing and restlessness resonated deeply as I lay on my bedroom floor after running through High Park, making sure I kept a 6ft distance from the other walkers and runners. The sweat dried as I listened to Garden Song for the first, second and tenth time. I remember walking out to the kitchen to tell Paul I finally listened to it, as he had been pleading me to do so. I said “hey man I listened to that Pheobe Bridgers song. Holy shit.” “Right?” he said. And then we just kinda looked at each other sharing a couple of wry smiles.
When the full album came out it was as devastating as I expected. So devastating that I can’t listen to it too often, but when I do it gets my full attention. Her unconventional but buttery smooth vocal phrasing is so good it pisses me off. Her ability to find the small moments and memories in life and string them together so you understand her particular struggle drives me insane. She does the things I try to do in songwriting, but she does it better. You really should listen to it.
While that album is one of my favourites of the year, the biggest holy shit moment I had this year was the first listen of my #1 pick: Visions of Bodies Being Burned by clipping.. As the year wore on, feelings of grief and isolation were interrupted by the broadcast of George Floyd’s murder. Then came the horror and the anger and the riots. Which is why, when a friend told me to check out Visions of Bodies Being Burned, it defined the rest of the year for me sonically. This was my introduction to clipping. and they’re like nothing I’ve heard before. It is the successor of another album they put out called There Existed An Addiction to Blood album late last year (which also slaps obv) and is dubbed a noise, horrorcore rap album. They use themes from the horror genre in their lyrics and production. Slasher film style jump scares and gore are used to tell horror stories of anger, violence and fighting back. Daveed Diggs is super dynamic, switching from spoken word style poetry to spitting in triple time, then to smooth flow flawlessly all over top of sparse, anxious production. It’s wild and impressive. I don’t think I’ve ever had an album legitimately scare me before. And it’s good to be scared sometimes, it makes you pay attention.
I did listen to a loooot of podcasts this year. The lack of casual conversation was a void filled by endless podcasts. My fave this year was Your Mom’s House. I’ve been a mommy for years now, but this year YMH really kept it extremely high and incredibly tight during these historically low and loose times. The main mommys Tim and Christine fill my day with laughter as they share clips of the coolest guys and the kind of toks that make you say, “you bet I’m coming up in May!” I also like Radiolab.
Oh also I got into Harry Styles this year. It’s been a weird year. Fine Line is like candy tho dude, just great pop songs played by incredible musicians sang by a dreamy young man I would totally kiss on the mouth if given the opportunity.
K bye, love you, see you soon.
Top 5 Albums of 2020
Visions of Bodies Being Burned - clipping.
Punisher - Phoebe Bridgers
Candid - Whitney
Shore - Fleet Foxes
Fine Line - Harry Styles
Top 5 Songs of 2020
Say the Name - clipping.
Fire - Waxahatchee
Can I Believe You - Fleet Foxes
Garden Song - Phoebe Bridgers
yankee and the brave (ep.4) - Run The Jewels
Favourite Podcast of 2020
Your Mom’s House Podcast